What if god was just Drew Carey hosting Who’s Line Is It Anyway? Good news, sinners! The points don’t matter.
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My Angry Birds technique involves a lot of first try-missedher abortions.
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Neighbor: I heard you smooching on someone last night. Me: That was just me sucking the insides out of a pizza roll. :(
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I think you can really cut down on the cost of murder by killing people with something other than a bag full of money.
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When my mom eventually divorces my dad she will change her name to SuSans Bilbrey.
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I remember when dogs first came out. Everyone said the baby making industry was doomed. They were right.
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Eye contact is not a thing that people do, it is a thing that cyclopses with eye problems have.
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Like J.K. Rowling, Flannery O'Connor also used her name to hide her femininity.
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